A Holiday Wish for the Mentally Ill

My brother John, a gentle giant, wanted his story told to help others.

John Judge in his freshman season with the Iowa Hawkeyes in 1979. John took his own life in 1982 while suffering from schizophrenia.

From the Archives

This article was first published by NPR on Christmas Eve 2010. My brother John has since been blessed with two more grandchildren, Eva and Tommy John. Mark Becker continues to serve a life sentence for the 2009 killing of his high-school football coach.

By Michael Judge

In the winter of 1978, my brother John walked through the front door with a Christmas tree he said he found in the middle of the road. "It must have fallen off of somebody’s car, or off the back of a truck," he said with a mischievous grin. He was 18, a 6-foot 4, 235-pound All-State defensive tackle. The tree was big, but he was bigger—a gentle giant with kind, hazel eyes.

A few years later, John was diagnosed with schizophrenia and took his own life. I think of him this Christmas season, and the tree he gave to the family that year, because his daughter Lindsay just gave bir…